Kerri Green

I cannot sleep without it,

It holds me in all the right places,

Where I do not hold myself.

The parts that sink too much or over stretch.

It stops unwanted objects from getting too close,

Like a physical barrier,

Keeping me safe.

Without it I would wake in so much pain,

From the positions my body finds comfort,

Also causes too much tension,

Nervous system hyper suspension.

It keeps my hips balanced and my lower back aligned,

Otherwise too much curve in my spine.

My body will ache,

My mind will wake.

My day will drag,

Walk like an old battered hag.

I don’t like that word, but it’s the closest to the truth and it rhymed.

When I’m asleep with me this object you’ll find.

 

If it was a person,

It would be an older woman,

One who’s lived a hard life,

Who now comforts others with her years of wisdom,

A healer,

A therapist,

A counsellor,

Someone who listens.

Who holds you tight,

Someone who will rock you in their arms,

Tuck you in and kiss you good night.

 

Physically it looks square and triangle,

Not quite 3D but neither 2D,

Although I guess it is 3D because it’s real.

Or is it 4D?

Who cares not me?

 

It feels soft but firm,

Rough but smooth,

Mouldable and squishy,

The missing piece that fits me.

 

I’ve never actually smelt it until now,

I guess it smells like sleep,

Like home,

Like sweat and blood all rolled into one.

Tears,

Sadness,

Happiness,

And joy,

My own very grown-up toy.

 

I think it would taste like a biscuit,

You know the cheeky one you have with a hot cup of tea,

The tea you have right before you have to leave to pick up the children,

The last moment of peace,

The last biscuit I the tin,

Tastes like a win.