Laura Hayward

If my body could talk.

Please stop! Please just stop everything that you’re trying to do. Just rest. I need a break. I’ve taken you to all of the places that you ever wanted. Danced at every party, grown your children, but now I’m tired. I’m so, so tired. I know that you have more things that you want to do and you’re frustrated that I can’t keep up, but I’m tired. I’m so so tired. I thought we were a team, but you don’t listen to me.

I’ve been telling you to slow down and that I need a break, but you just ignore me. I told you that I was anxious and stressed but you drowned me out with loud music and doing. I need peace. I need you to listen. Stope dosing me up with sugar and caffeine to keep me going, my parts are wearing thin from the stress of it all. Cogs are coming off. I’m neglected and poorly maintained.

I like it when we do relaxing things, when you let us ignore the jobs and your expectations of what we should be achieving and let us just be. I like when we go for walks, but slowly, and when you let me sit down when I’m tired. I like it when we sit in the bath or do a tiny bit of yoga. I love it when we meditate. I like sitting in garden with the sun on my skin, lying on the sofa in front of the fire, or on the bed with the cat.

I like it when you feed me nourishing food. I don’t like bread and sugar; I feel bad when we eat those. It makes me feel sad and like you don’t care.

I’d like to be able to swim again but I’m just not strong enough. wouldn’t it be great to swim again? Gliding like seagulls through a liquid sky.

I’d like to wear those yoga clothes and go to a class with other people one day, wouldn’t that be wonderful?

I’m not so fussed about hoovering.