Tamzin

There’s the click and the gentle tug against my hand, as if the door says better to stay inside, stay home. And although most of me agrees, my hand knows better. There is a flood of cold air as the outside world tumbles in. It has been patiently waiting for its moment and here it is. The cold air rushes to my face and any bear skin, I feel a sense of awakening for the second time today. But it doesn’t take long, an automatic shiver and I am there, I’ve joined the world.

 

Door open wide and no one pushing past means I have a moment. There greeting me is the sad remains of the summers lavender. No longer dancing in the summer breeze wafting it’s inviting scent, making it impossible not to stop and smell. It sticks up, naked and brings a sadness to me. I must force myself to remember its former glory and why we have this pile of sticks to greet us for half of the year. Legs and shoes jumping from the step, excitedly pushing past me change my thoughts and I walk.

 

The beep of the car resonates a long-standing hello and I feel the hard tarmac and then the soft, crunching grass as I open the door for my daughter to scrambling in. The sounds of a wood saw or an electric screwdriver require a reply for my two-year-old son, “that someone is doing building work.” I am mindful, we are not hurrying, but dawdling is not an option.

 

The familiar smooth, silky straps are followed by the clicks and beeps and I know my babies are safe and perhaps more importantly secured in the car. A worrying strand in my mind dies and a bit of peace from that moment in the doorway returns.

 

My turn now, I slide in and close the door. I look out. Ahead of me is the same ramshackled house, propped up only by its latest shiny cemented part. And the adolescent tree losing its leaves. A rainbow of brown, green, red and yellow are floating in the breeze following their brothers and sisters to the ground. Where they sink into the torn up grass below, made by people whose parking means more to them.

 

But it is time to smile, thinking of achievement. We made it. The journey from the front door to the car, tick!